Under Pressure

I don't do well under pressure. I panic. I hold my breath. I think too quickly and talk even more quickly. This happens when I think I've lost my credit card somewhere or there is an emergency.

When I have smaller issues, I sometimes get stopped in my tracks. Lately, I've had decisions to make and I'm stymied. I can't make up my mind this week. I heard somewhere that teachers make 1,000 decisions a day, so having my skills on the fritz is a huge problem.

Yesterday's turmoil was about my former student's funeral. To go or not to go? I know I sound callous in even wondering about going, but I also think I might feel like a hypocrite if I do go. I didn't know him well at all and I think I would be going out of guilt and obligation instead of to honor who he was.

As I walked into school yesterday, I saw some graffiti on a table that said "Rest in Peace, _____". May he rest in peace.

Movie of the Day: Boyz in the Hood. Sad. Compelling.